An Old Soul

I've said it once, and I'll say it again—I'm an old soul.

To be honest, it hurts to think others—specifically my peers—don't experience life the way I've learned to/yearned to (a life of love, Christ, laughter, compassion, and genuine happiness). At the same time, however, my peers consequently miss out on the hurt that I experience from seeing them live such reckless, immoral lives. Lucky them.

In the past few days especially, I've recognized such a clear connection between Daisy from The Great Gatsby, and my fellow students and even friends. In the classic, Daisy confides in her cousin Nick about her young daughter, stating "I hope she'll be a fool—that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool." Daisy, you're wrong.

To be a fool is to deny oneself of potential, richness, and depth. To be a fool is to completely disregard reality, and to live in some fluffy version of life, devoid of responsibility, honesty, fellowship, and all that good stuff. Yet it seems I find myself drowning in oceans of "Daisys" regularly. They search for beauty in all the wrong places, as they show off their fake tans, fake nails, and fake hair, completed by fake smiles. What happened to the pure beauty of kind eyes, a servant's heart, smart and innovative minds, genuine smiles, and souls overflowing with the Holy Spirit? It's almost as if these "Daisys" strive to be the walking representations of the tired phrase "ignorance is bliss," as they turn the other cheek from the wrongs they commit, as well as others’ wrongs. Even worse, these wrongs are not only ignored, but accepted. Standards get lower. The norm of what's cool and accepted grows intensely unwholesome.

I was sitting with my Bible on Monday, thinking of all of this and more, feeling overwhelmed after only one day back at school following the weekend. I have been so incredibly distressed by the actions of those around me that I needed more than just my Mom's comfort or her simple phrases that I'm "an old soul," or "old fashioned." I definitely needed more. I needed guidance from Christ. Since seemingly everyone around me was (and is) engaging in toxic activity, I began to think that maybe I was the one with issues. I desperately needed the Lord. I stumbled upon Romans 1, which explains God's anger against sinful humanity and how the Gentiles were without an excuse.

"Their lives are filled with all kinds of sexual sins, wickedness, and greed. They are mean. They are filled with envy, murder, quarreling, deceit, and viciousness. They are gossips, slanders, haters of God, haughty, arrogant, and boastful. They think up new ways to be cruel. They don't obey their parents, don't have any sense, don't keep promises, and don't show love to their own families or mercy to others. Although they know God's judgment that those who do such things deserve to die, they not only do these things, but also approve of others who do them" (Romans 1:29-32).

As you can imagine, this struck a chord in me—I felt like finally someone understood what I meant. That person was God. In these times, when I feel so alone in my faith and outlook on life, I must remember that God always understands. After all, it is the life of His son, Christ Jesus, that I strive to imitate—so of course he understands! Also, this verse inspired me to make sure that I never conduct myself in the ways of the sinful Gentiles. I'm far from perfect, and this verse inspired me to work harder at shaping my own character to please and glorify God.

Even when I feel like the only teenager with this outlook, there is definitely an immense amount of comfort in knowing that I'm really not alone; I'm accompanied by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, which is a far more satisfying posse than the company of "Daisys."