Today, Not Tomorrow

My sweet and beyond wonderful first grade teacher shared on Facebook an incredible quote that really stuck with me:

"Everyone can change tomorrow. Everyone solves problems tomorrow. But the only changes that matters are the ones I make today. Tomorrow is the easiest day I'll ever live. Today is the scary one, which is probably why I've spent so much time avoiding it."

This school year I am swimming—drowning—in schoolwork. Contrary to what I wish would happen, this increase in vigor didn’t fuel my drive, but depleted it. This week I have caught myself skimming my readings, as my assignments have become more perfunctory than enlightening, and I actually consider not going to class at all in order to avoid the stress completely. This is absolutely and incredibly unlike me.

Not only have I been blessed and cursed with the conscience of a nun and a burning desire to please my parents (and be showered with their attention...dreaming big, I know), but also I have consistently had an intrinsic desire to succeed academically in the past. This month I’ve been praying for purpose and motivation, and here it was on my screen. It is easy to assume that tomorrow I will begin working harder. Frequently this month I have pushed tasks from one day to the next, and suddenly those once-important items drop off of the to-do list all together, floating off into the void of unfinishedness.

No matter how many color-coded schedules I make, my work won’t get done until I do it. It’s convenient to think “studying” is synonymous to playing on the computer with a textbook opened in my lap—as if each time I glance down is the equivalent to dissecting and finessing the material itself!

Here’s the vow: I will not start on Monday, this weekend, or even tomorrow. My to-do list begins now.